Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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