you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
