If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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