remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
