What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
