Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
