Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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