Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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