I cockslap morals
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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