i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
