I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
