He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
