i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my being single is dangerous.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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