I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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