Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
vagina is talking i cant
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
