I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
