WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
