Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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