Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
