Me too!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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