I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize