So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
