is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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