I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
