My sheets look like a crime scene.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize