It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
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Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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