Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Damn victory sex feels great
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
