just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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