I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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