he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
