I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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