i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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