Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
