yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
