HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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