I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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