32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
