the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
