in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
