This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like the plague
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize