Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
