But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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