she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Randomize
