i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
