I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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