Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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