why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
