you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
