i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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