We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just had sex bonerless
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
