He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
