Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
