I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
