i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
