If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
