I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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