some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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